Bad bad day..

Today is a bad, bad day. Really bad. 

It all started with having the principle in class early in the morning and getting pointed around and scolded over things that isn't really my fault. Well, its normal, but what is worse is that there were seven children in class. I mean like seven, really, the class is so crowded I hardly have space to move. What is worse is my precious lead teacher is not here, 

and with her shitty planning, we had to pick up her shit and I had to end up taking four children on my own. And two out of four children is new, really. 

Such a tiring morning, but I made my new favourite child laugh so much that I know Sharm will never be able to. So at least, I know my bad day was exchanged for a child's good day. 

With all the blames received, picking up other people shit and nonsense, the afternoon was no where better. 

First news received was that my poor Evan is sick. Oh manz, he was yawning all the way and doing his task with eyes half closed. Poor child of mine. Then came language time, which is my bad luck again, Of all time for the principle to come in, she came in at the time where I expect myself to have issue carrying out the activity cause it was meant to be for 1 to 1 but not enough teacher. 

Sigh, so she helped me out lo. 

Then comes snack time. I had to force food into Evan mouth today cause he was really resisting it too much and I know I can't just let it go because he will take advantage of it. 

So heart pain upon doing that, and I was judged by the other teachers that I am as mean as Sharm when Lesley is not around. 

Sigh.. Worst news to end the day, she is going to be the lead teacher soon. Haizz. 

Why god WHYYY... 

Interim presentation finished~

Interim just finished, just finished, interim just finished~ 

Now its time to pray hard for evaluation. 

Finally, ended interim presentation today, and that means no more formal attire until the start of the year for final presentation yippee! 

Did pretty well for the evaluation today. Haha, the lecturers were surprised that I really can talk without singlish and one of them failed to recognise me because I actually bothered to dress formal for the first time. Thanks my pretty phoebe for the blazer yesterday and making all the professional evaluation on the blazer I should choose. Not forgetting Keith who went round and round to get the skirt and shirt with me. 

Having such a back ache since yesterday. Can't remember what sparked it anyway, 

But seems to be getting worse. Oh god. 

Best news for today is that my lead teacher is sick and won't be here tomorrow. 

So it's just me and the useless assistant teacher lo. Must constantly remind myself to stop caring too much over hopeless people and I am just an intern. 

As long as Evan don't get one more scratch I am fine la hahaha. 

When a chapter ends, a new chapter will start

As usual, a bad start for a new start. 

Went out early but got into a jam. Like seriously, 4 bus stops away to reach destination and I got into a jam like really. So got to internship on time than to be early. But never stop getting shits in my life so I just learn to chill it off anyway. 

And of course, not forgetting to mention the useless co-teacher who did stupid stuff as she does every day and she scratch my Evan hand lo. Stupid bitch sial really. DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE NAILS TO EVEN CUT EVAN. But she don't think she is the cause anyway. Aiya, if people learn to reflect the world would have been a a better place long ago la. 

Finally took my contact lens after soo soo long and just treat myself to some pasta. Presentation seems to be quite well prepared and done up. And yay, thanks to my pheebs I got blazer today without having to go Bishan at 7am tomorrow lo. 

Should start loving myself more again and then slowly start loving everyone else like I used to. 

Time to plan what I want for myself and get my life back to path again.

Some things about me might have changed, some things can never be undone, some mistakes that will need you to keep paying for the price slowly for the rest of your life. Regardless who caused it, or who is part of it, we will all forget over time. Its still left with you and your life to rectify, improve and pay it on your own. 

Throwback to 10 months back where I still look young and innocent. A girl who was ambitious, critical and confident. A little over confident maybe. But at least, a girl who is ever shining and a girl who never fail to be special in a manly and mature way. I promise friends, I will get it back in no time. I promise. 

Why did i even bother?

Why did I bother to be bothered over things that I should not bothered and promised myself to not get bothered over every time. End of the day, what will you get? 

Nothing is appreciated because you don't bother listing and pointing out everything you have done. 

Whatever behind the scenes you have done to make things come to today is because the other party gave in and not because you done enough to exchange that.

It's so stupid anyway, teaching people how important family is, why didn't I invest my time into my children, into business, into socialising to give my family the life they use to have. 

"You gave your 100 and yet nothing came back, then you should rethink where you are putting the 100 to." Ahhh enlightenment for myself. 

Till now, he still don't get what he had said wrong and what exactly he have done is hurtful. 

Maybe some people will never know, they are just not meant to know. 

Just like how I am not meant to be bothered over certain stuff. 

Sorry bitch, being a kpo and wanting to help other people don't always give you the same outcome. 

Similarly, bitch please learn that not all parents will thank you for helping their son, 

because maybe it doesn't even seem to be enough help after all. 

Weeks after internship

Been several weeks since I have been posted to EIC for my final year internship. 

Have been pretty good for these weeks as I really have a super patient and tolerant lead teacher. Despite the fact that undeniably, the co-teacher is really bullshit and yet can put up a good show in front of the principle. Oh wells, seems like it is a skill that I need then. 

Been conducting classes since three weeks back and the children are generally unentertained in my lesson as expected of course. But at least, my most precious child in the afternoon is giving me more and more eye contact nowadays. I just love him so much and I hope he starts loving me too hehe. 

Principle hasn't been nice recently. Well, she has never really been nice anyway.

But I guess I just need to find the sense she has and just link myself to it then. 

6 more weeks to go in the EIC, doubt I will continue staying there any more after the internship. 

But maybe staying in early intervention track might still be a choice in my list? 

Well, hope my business goes on track so I have time to be a teacher then.