Networking for the Opinionated and Direct Individuals

'Your network is your net worth'

This is a cliche saying that many will find it familiar and relatable to. 

Despite knowing the importance and benefits of networking, I am never a fan of networking. Technically, I HATE networking.
Networking event to me is as simple as going to a gathering filled with fake ass people who never fail to put on that smile, shakes your hand and nods their head like they have never been any less interested in you, sugarcoat their words and just 'be nice' or just as nice as they can portray themselves to be (sorry to maybe the 20% of the people who are genuinely nice for assuming this).

Everyone who knows me would have know that I am direct, opinionated and really frank (Like REALLY FRANK). I totally couldn't picture myself in such an event, having to hold back my thoughts on how mismatched someone's outfit is, to agree on perception and beliefs in life that I really feel is wrong, and still BE NICE. Like OMG, how to be nice when everything of that person just sucks (to put it literally).

If you are like me, who hates networking, because it is just not in you to be nice about things that is inverse of your beliefs and perception of life. I would like to share about some facts and tips that I learnt from my Startup Academy master program today, that may help you look at networking in a different light like I did.

Here goes:

Everyone has their own strength.
 Being opinionated, honest and straightforward are no doubt strengths of any individual since you can deliver your beliefs strongly across and attract the right crowd into your social circle. But it also seem to be the biggest barrier in networking since it is obvious that there is no way to build a good rapport with the other party in a networking session if you just throw a solid hard stone in his/her face telling her that she sucks, or her mentality sucks, like as though she has lived half of the life the wrong way, just because she don't live a life that you THINK is right.

The greatest and hardest lesson I feel honest, direct and opinionated people who face the same issue as me need to learn is that just because things isn't done in the way we think is right don't make them wrong.

End of the day, everyone has their rule of survival that they live by, and in Chinese, we call it 生存法则. Food for thought is probably that if they are still alive now, talking to you, generally means that their rule of survival worked. Regardless how much you can't believe that it did, it still did. Henceforth, there is no need for you to throw a solid hard stone in their face to let them know that you don't agree to what they believe in or living by.

This does not mean that you do not deliver your belief across just because you know that it is different from the other party. In fact, the tip I learnt today's Startup Academy program is to avoid using 'But' and 'no' in the sentence during a conversation which can increase the chances of the other party being more receptive to your opinion.

DISCLAIMER: Facts are not real. Just an example.

Example of a conversation with 'but' and 'no': 

A: I like oranges because they are sweet and full of vitamin C. So it is really good for health.

B: NOOO. You know uh, oranges are actually very sour one. 

C: Oranges are full of viatmin C, but, it is also filled with sugar lei. So it is good for health in a way but also not very good la. 

If the conversation have no 'but' and 'no': 

A: I like oranges because they are sweet and full of vitamin C. So it is really good for health.

B: Oh ya, oranges can be sweet and I am just in the luck where I always get sour ones so I don't really prefer oranges. 

C: Oranges can be filled with Vitamin C and it also comes along with quite some sugar, so if you have diabetes, you probably can consider xxx instead. 

You will probably see a significant difference in the tonality (hopefully my example is relatable enough) for the same context by just removing 'No' and replacing 'but' with 'and' in a sentence when you try to get your different viewpoint/belief across. In this way, you are still being honest with your thoughts but in a more refine manner where the other party is more likely to accept your idea as well!

Regardless how hard we try to have everyone to agree to our viewpoint/idea/philosophy, it will never happen. And it is absolutely cool to have different viewpoint and it doesn't kill to know more perspective of life since there is not really a right or wrong. 
And so, it doesn't mean we have to be nice but not showing our disagreement but we can definitely do it in a less hostile way which can allow us to better carry our point across as well than to sound offensive and build a bad rapport with people.

End of the day, what you ultimately want to achieve in a networking session is attracting the right group of people into your life. And so, the most important factor is to be genuine and just be you (in a socially smart version) and so you can attract like-minded individual into your circle of life whom can understand you and provide help in the most beneficial manner for you!

-猪安娜/Jenna
Credits: Startup Academy 

Disclaimer: This is a essay contains my personal insights and 

understanding which Startup Academy is not liable for.