2017. A new start or an end?

Starting the third day of 2017. 

Reviewing 2016, its the year I lost myself gradually over time. I stopped doing things that I liked, stop believing in things that I used to believe, and unknowingly, I am filled with negativity and spreading negativity to everyone around me. 

2016 is a year where my greatest goal of starting a social enterprise is gone. I was enthusiastic, confident that I could make that small positive impact to the world while sustaining my daily life expenses. Only to realize when I started the enterprise that the world has became so dark. People no longer have faith in social enterprises, because there are just so many businesses that have been exploiting people's sympathy to earn more. It's so depressing to know how genuine social enterprises are barely making it there, and the big organisations are mostly running through government funds. 

Barely alive. That is me for 2016. 

Trying to please people because that's what will keep me alive in this society. Because people around me hope that I can be more patient, less crude, less negative in my words, and more politically correct. I tried not to, but without a goal, I don't know what am I trying so hard for. I am just like a walking zombie, counting my days, being alive just for the sake of it. 

Find a new goal in 2017? Nah. I will try my best to. I had one, which is to be a volunteer in a third world country, conducting classes and empowering young children with knowledge. And seemingly, this goal of mine made my mum broke into tears. I don't know why. 

But I want to be positive and bright again like I used to be. 

And I guess finding myself again and be strong is what I really need to do for 2017. 

Still, shutting down all my companies related stuff and dumping away all my stocks by end of this month. Let's see where this goes again.