Monday, September 28, 2015

Networking for the Opinionated and Direct Individuals

'Your network is your net worth'
This is a cliche saying that many will find it familiar and relatable to. 

Despite knowing the importance and benefits of networking, I am never a fan of networking. Technically, I HATE networking.
Networking event to me is as simple as going to a gathering filled with fake ass people who never fail to put on that smile, shakes your hand and nods their head like they have never been any less interested in you, sugarcoat their words and just 'be nice' or just as nice as they can portray themselves to be (sorry to maybe the 20% of the people who are genuinely nice for assuming this).

Everyone who knows me would have know that I am direct, opinionated and really frank (Like REALLY FRANK). I totally couldn't picture myself in such an event, having to hold back my thoughts on how mismatched someone's outfit is, to agree on perception and beliefs in life that I really feel is wrong, and still BE NICE. Like OMG, how to be nice when everything of that person just sucks (to put it literally).

If you are like me, who hates networking, because it is just not in you to be nice about things that is inverse of your beliefs and perception of life. I would like to share about some facts and tips that I learnt from my Startup Academy master program today, that may help you look at networking in a different light like I did.

Here goes:

Everyone has their own strength.
 Being opinionated, honest and straightforward are no doubt strengths of any individual since you can deliver your beliefs strongly across and attract the right crowd into your social circle. But it also seem to be the biggest barrier in networking since it is obvious that there is no way to build a good rapport with the other party in a networking session if you just throw a solid hard stone in his/her face telling her that she sucks, or her mentality sucks, like as though she has lived half of the life the wrong way, just because she don't live a life that you THINK is right.

The greatest and hardest lesson I feel honest, direct and opinionated people who face the same issue as me need to learn is that just because things isn't done in the way we think is right don't make them wrong.

End of the day, everyone has their rule of survival that they live by, and in Chinese, we call it 生存法则. Food for thought is probably that if they are still alive now, talking to you, generally means that their rule of survival worked. Regardless how much you can't believe that it did, it still did. Henceforth, there is no need for you to throw a solid hard stone in their face to let them know that you don't agree to what they believe in or living by.

This does not mean that you do not deliver your belief across just because you know that it is different from the other party. In fact, the tip I learnt today's Startup Academy program is to avoid using 'But' and 'no' in the sentence during a conversation which can increase the chances of the other party being more receptive to your opinion.

DISCLAIMER: Facts are not real. Just an example.

Example of a conversation with 'but' and 'no': 

A: I like oranges because they are sweet and full of vitamin C. So it is really good for health.

B: NOOO. You know uh, oranges are actually very sour one. 

C: Oranges are full of viatmin C, but, it is also filled with sugar lei. So it is good for health in a way but also not very good la. 

If the conversation have no 'but' and 'no': 

A: I like oranges because they are sweet and full of vitamin C. So it is really good for health.

B: Oh ya, oranges can be sweet and I am just in the luck where I always get sour ones so I don't really prefer oranges. 

C: Oranges can be filled with Vitamin C and it also comes along with quite some sugar, so if you have diabetes, you probably can consider xxx instead. 

You will probably see a significant difference in the tonality (hopefully my example is relatable enough) for the same context by just removing 'No' and replacing 'but' with 'and' in a sentence when you try to get your different viewpoint/belief across. In this way, you are still being honest with your thoughts but in a more refine manner where the other party is more likely to accept your idea as well!

Regardless how hard we try to have everyone to agree to our viewpoint/idea/philosophy, it will never happen. And it is absolutely cool to have different viewpoint and it doesn't kill to know more perspective of life since there is not really a right or wrong. 
And so, it doesn't mean we have to be nice but not showing our disagreement but we can definitely do it in a less hostile way which can allow us to better carry our point across as well than to sound offensive and build a bad rapport with people.

End of the day, what you ultimately want to achieve in a networking session is attracting the right group of people into your life. And so, the most important factor is to be genuine and just be you (in a socially smart version) and so you can attract like-minded individual into your circle of life whom can understand you and provide help in the most beneficial manner for you!


-猪安娜/Jenna
Credits: Startup Academy 
Disclaimer: This is a essay contains my personal insights and 
understanding which Startup Academy is not liable for. 

Thursday, September 24, 2015

永远达不到的‘满分‘

步入20岁快一个月了,总觉得今年的自己有那么一点的不一样。
是长大了吗,还是经历过太多的失望,而开始体会绝望。 

总觉得自己开始学会了以自我为中心了,
是因为我已经厌倦了替别人着想的生活方式,
还是因为我明白了,
放下自己,全心全意的为别人付出,换来的只有背叛.
留下的只有遍体遍体凌伤的自己。
还是因为我明白了,
人永远都不会知足,给予的永远不够,像永远填不满的黑洞一样。
但人真的会去回想你一路来给予了多少吗?
还是只会因为少给了他一片饼干(好处)而耿耿于怀。

我想我学会了,其实没有所谓的把自己的100%拿出来。
因为100%的定义太广了。100%的定义也会随着个人欲望,奢求和贪婪而不断增加。
谁说100%就永远是100分。
6岁的时候,我们的考试,满分是10分。
8岁的时候,我们的考试,满分是50分。
10 岁的时候,我们的考试,满分是100分。

这和人与人之间的期望和要求是一样的,
刚开始,对方只要求10分,
你能满足他前10个要求,为他改变,为他付出,努力的达到他的‘满分’。
但你最终将会发现,每一次你在心里暗自高兴的喝彩你得到了他指定‘满分’,
‘满分’的定义好像又变了。
怎么他好像没注意到我已经为他改变了呢?
怎么他好像还是不开心呢?
怎么他和我说,其实他还有不满意的方面呢?

就这样,发现了,每个人得到你的好,就很自然的想要更好的。
人往往不会记得你达到的每一分,
只注意你没拿到的那些分,那永远达不到‘满分’。


-猪安娜
希望你不会有达不到的满分
找个会为你没拿到零分而开心的人
而不是因为你没拿到满分而生气的人

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Blessed 20th Birthday (Carousel)

Continuing where I left off, my next birthday dinner is at Carousel on my actual birthday with Chin Yue. Before the dinner begins, it was a eventful morning as well since I get to go into Domino pizza kitchen with my playgroup kids and get to make my own pizza! Though it is not made by myself from scratch, am still thankful to see how they make their pizza and how they coordinate as a team to make sure they can deliver the pizzas to us on time. 


In the late noon, before we head down to carousel was time to cut my birthday cake with Pam, Jos, and CY. Prettiest cake of my life since I ever start to choose my own cake for birthday by MissGoob and I am so loving the design! The minion is like so adorable with the super tiny strands of hair with its short leg and hands. Of course, good quality red velvet in the inside. 




Happy girl from having a minion cake and the companionship of my girlfriend, head down to far east since we had time and Carousel is just beside it. Been long since I had time to take a walk in Far East and it always feel so good to have a break from work. 


Entered Carousel at 6.30 and love how they have a utensil rack to rest our utensils neatly. 
They have a vast variety of food like most international buffet does and the food quality is good too! Comparing Carousel to other international buffet, I would say it is a little overrated for the price as it is almost similar to most of the other international buffet at equivalent or even lower price. Service of the staff are good though their uniform is really a little mismatched to the environment to me. 
So here are some photo of the food that you can expect to find at Carousel: 


















The best surprise I had from Carousel is not the food but the fact that they actually have house cake for diners who have birthday on the day which definitely not much international buffet restaurants provides! Thanks CY for the effort to make a trip down to Antoinette to get their best selling cake and making my experience here even more unique. Of course, thanks for the bouquet of sunflower that you took much effort to make sure it isn't bigger than the ones my mum gave me. The roses in between the sunflower are really pretty too! 




Ended my day perfectly upon receiving a new ted from JG that is 2x bigger than my original one. YAY. Jumped with joy when I opened the box and can't stop hugging it since then. Sorry that I am unable to be home to receive the gift from you and thank you in person since I did not know you're coming. Still, thank you for making a trip down specially with the super big box and giving me my own space and time to celebrate my birthday in my own way without expecting much from me yet giving so much! 


Good end to my 19th and good start to my 20s all thanks to people who made this day so awesome! Especially CY who spend some much time and money travelling around to make sure all my gifts are in place so that there are no hiccups throughout the day! I forgive you for being 10 minutes late that day HAHA (technically I was 10 minutes early). Really appreciate everything that you have planned and the day is perfect. Thanks Pam for specially making a trip down just to help me take photos and I did not even had one with you (sorry lol).